Divorce Tips for Women
Divorce is tough. There is really no way to sugar coat it. Ending a relationship for good can be taxing on you mentally, emotionally, and financially. But, just because the process can have negative aspects, does not mean that the process cannot be improved. For one, there are ways to make divorce easier on you. In the first portion of this blog series, we talked about seven great tips for women to consider when they are getting a divorce. It is important to remember that you have control over what happens in your divorce, so it is best to try and stay positive through the process; if not for yourself, for your children.
More Divorce Tips Continued…
In this part of our blog series, we will continue discussing tips and tricks to make your divorce easier for you and your family. Though you and your ex might be breaking up, it is best to try to stay as civil with each other as possible. Divorce can be traumatizing for everyone involved, especially your children. To ensure that your divorce goes as smoothly as possible, you will want to follow our 10 divorce tips.
8. Be the Bigger Person
Be the bigger person and you will win every time. Though it may not always seem like it when you act more maturely and in control, you will be able to achieve much more. If your spouse wants to initiate low blows and guerrilla tactics, the best thing you can do is try to stay calm and keep collected. It might be hard at first, but when you reserve your anger, especially around your children, you will seem much more in control. Even if your children don’t understand when they are young, later in their lives, they will begin to understand the restraint you showed “when the chips were down.” Also, divorce can bring out the worst in people, which means they become petty, dishonest, and jaded. You need to do your absolute best not to let the process of divorce make you vile or greedy.
Though at the moment of your divorce you may really dislike your ex, you will never get your time back. Taking away money or property will never satisfy your anger. That, unfortunately, is an emotion that you have to come to grips with on your own time.
9. Be Self-Sufficient
Getting a divorce can be a nerve-racking experience for two reasons. For one, divorce can be like an empty void. After all, you probably haven’t been on your own for a while, or ever. Being married means that you have been in an intense partnership for a while. When a marriage ends, it can scary to imagine yourself on your own and alone. But, as stated in part one, you are not alone. When you go through a divorce, you need to rely on your loved ones for support. Feelings of loneliness can make you feel sad and loveless, but don’t back yourself into an isolated corner — it isn’t healthy!
Though you can lean on others when you are feeling down, divorce forces you to be self-sufficient. You can no longer rely on your spouse for help, money, or support. Now, you need to stand on your own two feet. For many, the idea of being an individual again is terrifying, especially since it has been so long since they have had to fend for themselves. This is by far more relevant for women who were stay-at-home parents. When you get a divorce, it essentially means that you will have to support yourself from now on. This means you will have to get a job, pay your bills, take care of your kids by yourself from now on. Of course, depending on your situation, you might have a shared custody agreement with your spouse, which means you will have to care for your children on your court-agreed days.
Even before you initiate your divorce process, you need to think about the steps you need to make to be self-sufficient. For one, you need to gather your work experience and build a resume. You should be looking for a job to enter the workforce as soon as possible. Because divorces are expensive, and you are likely to have more bills than ever before, it is important to try and get a job as soon as possible. And, as many people in the workforce will know, just because you interview for a job doesn’t mean you will get it. Sometimes, it can take months before a job will stick.
10. Get a Divorce Lawyer
The tenth, and most important tip we can possibly give you is to get a divorce lawyer. In Oklahoma City, there are plenty of skilled divorce lawyers near you, such as at The Women and Children’s Law Center.
Why do you need a lawyer?
Well, as stated earlier in this blog, divorce has a knack for bringing out the worst in people. Because spouses have so much history and anger towards each other, the smallest disagreements can become huge arguments that take months to resolve. Because of this, you may want to depend on a lawyer to help represent you, both in court and to your spouse’s lawyer as well. By having a trained legal representative on your side, you will be able to have your voice heard without being outmaneuvered by your spouse. Divorce lawyers have the ability to find points to agree upon and hopefully meet a compromise.
If you are living in Oklahoma City and are looking for a divorce attorney to represent you, contact us today.