The holidays are meant to be full of cheer, right? But if you were recently divorced and maybe your kids are with your former spouse, the holidays can feel like one of the least festive times of year. Even though it is undoubtedly an emotional time and there are new challenges to face each day, there are things you can do to limit the stress and make the most of the months in between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.
The challenges and the emotional rollercoaster of a post-divorce life can come as a surprise, especially if the timing of it all lands around the holidays. At Self Spurgeon Legal Group in Oklahoma City, our team of divorce lawyers strive to provide exceptional legal service to help you reach your desired outcome. In addition, we want to provide advice and guidance throughout and even after the process is complete. We know how hard the holiday season can be under normal circumstances, so here are a few tips to help you get through these months, and maybe even have a little fun.
Avoid Over Spending
If you’re still getting out and holiday shopping for friends, family, and kids, it’s easy to pick up every little thing that you believe they would like. But remember that the purpose of the holiday season is not to see who can spend the most money and get the most extravagant gifts — it’s about spending time with the people you love. And we realize that divorce may have made this difficult, but if you can, spend some time with a valued friend, a parent, or a sibling who can help ease the difficulty of the season. Close friends and family don’t need extravagance, they just want you to be as happy as possible.
Validate Your Feelings
Sure, there are songs that come on the radio telling you that it’s time to be cheerful, but if you’re not feeling it, that is completely OK. If you’re hurt, frustrated, tired, stressed out, and just need a break, this is OK too! You don’t need to try to push these feelings under the rug, pretending that they aren’t real. The important thing, though, is to not let these feelings get the best of you. Validate your feelings and tell yourself that you will get through it.
Getting a divorce is one of the biggest life-changing decisions to be made, and it can feel like there is no one who has it worse. But in reality, there are plenty of people around Oklahoma City who are struggling to make it each day, let alone through the holidays. There are several places in the OKC area that need volunteers during the holiday season, including The Salvation Army and various homeless shelters. Giving back and helping the community may help you take your mind off what you are going through.
Have a “Plan B”
Sometimes filling up your schedule can seem like a good idea, maybe you thought you could make it through a holiday dinner with your ex, or maybe you thought you really wanted to spend the holidays alone — whatever your plans are, plan on having a backup as well. When things don’t go as planned, or when you’re feeling differently, having a plan B already lined up can take the stress and anxiety out of the situation.
Do Something You Love
The divorce lawyers at Self & Spurgeon Legal Group believe that this may be the best piece of advice for a post-divorce holiday. After going through the entire process of filing papers, splitting assets, meetings with attorneys, going to court, and countless discussions, it can feel like you’ve been drained of all the happiness. So, give yourself a holiday gift and do something you love. It could be as simple as getting a massage or if possible, going on vacation. Doing something for yourself can be extremely uplifting.
Make New Traditions
Holidays are often full of family traditions, but after a divorce, the familiar traditions may not be possible. Rather than focusing on what isn’t happening this year, focus on the present and the future by starting a tradition for yourself. You can still decorate a tree or you can see a movie on Christmas day, whatever it is, make sure it’s something you can do each year to celebrate the holidays in your own, new way.
Take One Day at a Time
When people around you are planning for future events, and if you’re receiving invitations to parties or thinking about all the shopping that needs to get done, it can quickly get overwhelming. If you are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, take a step back and remind yourself to take it one day at a time. This may seem like a challenge itself, but telling yourself that you will make it through the day can be the encouragement you need.
The divorce attorneys at Self & Spurgeon Legal Group in Oklahoma City have helped dozens of couples get a divorce, and have provided not only legal advice, but guidance and support for a post-divorce life.
Our team of divorce lawyers can help with a wide range of services, including child support, child custody, alimony, contested divorces, and more. With years of experience and a passionate and dedicated support team, we can provide the service you need. We know that it can be a scary transition, but we will fight hard for your rights throughout the process and after.